The End of an Era

Last year I made the decision to give therapy another go. I’d had therapy previously through the Army and the NHS mainly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I found going over past traumas too triggery. I understand that the therapist needs to know about your past to help guide you through therapy, however it would be a lot easier if they actually read your notes. I had to do a timeline several times and each time was painful and a huge trigger for my PTSD. I left sessions feeling exposed, raw and in pain.

This time I wanted a patient-centred approach without going through my past. So, I opted for a privately paid online therapy platform called Betterhelp. You had to complete a questionnaire and add a bit about what you want to get out of therapy, from this you were allotted a therapist. The first therapist I was assigned wasn’t suitable due to time schedules and it was easy to swap therapists. My mental health schedule isn’t 9-5pm Monday – Friday so I wanted access to therapy and my therapist outside of these times, so it made sense to have a therapist that was in America.

From the first session I knew I had made the right decision and felt the benefit without the horrible post-therapy dip. I had a weekly video session per week, had access to my therapist 24-7 through the app, an online journal which I could share entries with my therapist and there were groups available too (I didn’t attend any of those, that was just a personal choice).

Online therapy was worth every penny, and I can highly recommend. My therapist became a huge part of my support network, and I would look forward to our sessions rather than dread therapy. We worked on my recovery, my present and most important to me – my future. Yes, sometimes the past had to come up, but I felt more comfortable talking about that when it was in my control as I would direct the session.

Before my last appointment I had the feeling that I think I’m done now, I felt that I had built my support network around me, know about healthy boundaries, my triggers and how to deal with them. It just felt like the support from my therapist and psychiatric nurse had come to an end, I had outgrown the psychiatric support that was available to me. I won’t say that I am flying solo as that isn’t true, I’m moving forward with Team Jodi behind me. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes and it’s now my time to fly.

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